1137hrs.

I have been crying in bed for hours. The only place i can turn to is this space. I reached home this evening and received a bad news from mommy. My tears literally roll down my cheeks. This afternoon, as usual, daddy was driving to work but on expressway, he realized he had trouble with seeing in both eyes so he drove to the road shoulder and called mom. Mommy was so worried that she asked uncle to drive her to the expressway as she was trembling. Mom suspected an illness but it couldn't be confirmed yet. I was so worried that i went to google about the symptoms of that illness and i was in a state of shocked when i found out daddy falls under most of the category. I just don't know how to react but i can feel my tears rolling down. There's so many things occupying my mind at that point of time. The thoughts of entering NUH A&E, the thoughts of waiting outside the ICU, the thoughts of sitting in a conference room with the doctor, the thoughts when doctor tell us to be prepared, the thoughts of heading NUH every single day, the thoughts of talking to him and hoping that he will react.. so many so many.

All of these, we've been there and done that. It was so scary and it's the last place i ever want to enter. The previous time was the worst ever. Our heart dropped when doctor told us the statistics and wanted us to be mentally prepared. Daddy is a strong man and brave man. He fought with the illness and survived. Di, you've done so much for this family. You slog your life to give us luxury life. You gave more than what we can ever expect. It's time for us to repay you so please.. for the sake of the family, no matter what, stay strong. We will always be here to accompany you. Please Di, give us a chance to repay what you've done for us. You know your babygirl here will always love you..forever and ever.

I'm feeling really tired now. I'm hoping to sleep and wake up to realize everything is just a dream. I hope it wasn't a serious illness, i hope it can be treated with just medication, i hope you will ask me the usual phrase, "you're not gg out today right? you're supposed to accompany me at home". I hope i hope i hope... i'm tired. Gn.