Why is it always so difficult to find a guy like this?

I want a guy who knows how to put me as his priority.

I want a guy who never handmade anything but for me, he tried.

I want a guy to surprise me, even with the smallest thing like buying me my favorite food, bringing me out to have my favorite ice-cream.

I want a guy who can make me feel very secure, like he's mine and i'm his one & only.

I want a guy who will hold my hand tight while crossing the road.

I want a guy who grab me firmly while standing on bus/train.

I want a guy who will cover me with his jacket when i'm cold or when i fell asleep.

I want a guy who will send me to the doctor's the moment he found out that i'm not feeling well.

I want a guy who will coax me and tucked me in bed before he close his eyes and sleep next to me.

I want a guy who knows how to take initiative, like fetching me from school and carrying my heavy laptop for me.

I want a guy to spend time with me, even if it's just staying at home, cooking something for ourselves or watching movies all night long.

I want a guy who will say yes or no to something.

I want a guy who will call me late at night and chat with me on the phone for hours and get ready for school the next morning.

I want a guy who will send me random messages.

I want a guy who i can gossip with, who i can share my secrets with, who i can share my daily happenings with.

I just want someone who can make me feel very safe with them.

You've no idea how insecure i am whenever i got into a r/s.

I've a huge problem with my self-esteem & I feel inferior about myself.

I'm not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not tall enough.

Yes, expectations. I expect too much of myself.

I got very sensitive with the "ex's" thing. Nobody understand because i never tell anyone.

I tend to get very inferior whenever i tried to compare myself with the "ex".

I'm so afraid that i will lose out to her in many ways.

Like i'm not good enough for you. I never make enough sacrifices. I couldn't make you happy, I couldn't make you love me like how you loved her.

And that alone, killed me instantly. So, i chose to walk away.

I'm afraid when someone i love talk about his ex to his friends, because it shows that you still care for her and it seems like i'm nothing to you.

Afterall, it's still the damn self-esteem issues.

So, is it really that difficult to find a guy who will see me as his only one?

Yeah, this guy is too good to be true. I can probably just dream about it.