Now i realised how soft-hearted i am.
Each time i made up my mind and tell myself constantly i got to stick with the decision i made.
Just one text, one long text made me so confused, really really confused.
I tell myself to move on, with what i have. I'm contented.
But i know on the other hand, i've another one who is always there for me constantly.
The continuous care and concern he gave, he never stop worrying about me.
He said he will always be the greatest and strongest pillar i can rely on.
I know i'm bad, really bad.
Even how much stuffs he did to hurt me, i couldn't bring myself to hate me.
He dote me a lot, just like a princess.
There's once when i fainted outside class during seconday sch, he knew and went class to class and asked if anyone have panadol. He know i'm weak and accompany me to rest in class.
Whenever my body is aching due to 'aunt', he would massage for me even when he's tired.
His mum and i could click really well. She would joke with me, call me when i'm down and comfort me. She would blame him for making me cry, she treats me like her own.
But now, it's not just me & him. I find myself very selfish because at the end of the day, somebody will be hurt.
And it really hurts me a lot more to hurt any of them.
I'm just so afraid to make any wrong choice, i don't want to go through what i've gone through before.
I don't want SJB to feel sad anymore neither do i want him to feel that way.
Why am i soft-hearted??